I’ve encountered my fair share of failures throughout my life. From childhood attempts at mastering musical instruments like the guitar, cello, and piano—none of which progressed beyond a mediocre level—to abandoning music for sports, only to discover I wasn’t particularly skilled at basketball, soccer, or especially tennis (I was remarkably bad at tennis).
As I grew into adulthood, the failures persisted. The dream job I yearned for slipped through my fingers. Rejection letters arrived from the graduate program I was eager to join. My chapbook proposals were met with a wall of rejections from publishers. An innovative idea at work fizzled out. Even some relationships and friendships didn’t stand the test of time.
But through it all, I learned. I learned from my mistakes. I discovered my strengths. I gained clarity on my career path. I realized that failures don’t define me. I understood that success is often paved with failure. And crucially, I learned that improvement is possible even after experiencing failure.
The sting of failure is palpable. It hits you right in the gut. The thought, “I’ll never recover from this,” might creep into your mind. Your confidence and self-esteem can plummet. The desire to try something new might wane.
Consider Thomas Edison, who reportedly took 10,000 attempts to perfect the light bulb. Arianna Huffington faced rejection from 36 publishers. Bill Gates’ initial business venture was a complete flop. Walt Disney was once told he lacked creativity and was fired from a newspaper job. Michael Jordan was famously cut from his high school basketball team. Oprah Winfrey was dismissed from her first job, enduring sexual harassment in a hostile work environment.
The world’s most successful individuals have faced failure, often repeatedly. The crucial question is: how are you learning from failure? What lessons can failure impart? Where can you find gratitude amidst failure?
Understanding Failure: More Than Just Falling Short
We’ve all tasted failure in some form. Our personal definitions might vary, shaped by our unique experiences. So, what exactly is failure?
At its core, failure is simply the absence of success. It’s not meeting an expectation or desired outcome. Let’s look at some examples:
- A high school student aiming for an A on a math test to secure a B in the course studies diligently and seeks extra help from the teacher. However, the test result is a B, leading to a C+ in the class.
- An individual who completed a workforce development program to gain new skills diligently applies for nearly 50 jobs post-graduation but receives no interview offers.
- An employee recently promoted to a people manager role receives feedback in annual performance reviews indicating their team is struggling to meet goals, and upward feedback reveals the manager needs to improve their people management skills.
“We learn more from our failures than from our successes. Not only do we find out what doesn’t work so that we can adjust our future attempts, we learn about ourselves in the process and gain a bit of empathy towards others that might be struggling as well.”
Kealy Spring, Leadership Fellow Coach, BetterUp
Failure is a subject of increasing research and scientific study. It’s increasingly recognized as a prerequisite for success. However, the critical element is learning from those failures to turn them into advantages.
The Valuable Lessons Learned Through Failure
Failure is undoubtedly painful. It challenges us deeply and can test the limits of our perfectionism. Picking ourselves up and trying again can be incredibly difficult. Whether you grapple with perfectionistic tendencies or feelings of inadequacy, failure presents unique challenges.
But what do we actually learn from failure? The answer is: significantly more than you might realize.
Building Resilience Through Setbacks
Failure is a crucible for resilience. It’s almost impossible not to develop resilience when you face failure, especially if you are determined to overcome it.
Resilience is a vital life skill. Developing it extends benefits beyond just overcoming setbacks; it fosters a growth mindset, aids in adapting to change, and cultivates grit, tenacity, and motivation.
Cultivating Humility
Our egos are fragile and can inflate easily. Failure serves as a necessary check, fostering humility. It teaches us essential qualities, particularly humility in leadership and in our personal lives.
Embracing Flexibility and Adaptability
Even the most meticulously planned strategies can be disrupted. This is where the lessons of failure become invaluable. You might realize a goal was initially set too ambitiously after an initial setback, necessitating adjustments. Or, the goal might remain valid, but the approach needs revision.
This is where flexibility becomes crucial. The adage, “You can’t do the same thing over and over and expect different results,” rings true. Failures teach us flexibility, adaptability, and the art of overcoming obstacles. They encourage us to leverage change to our benefit, fostering nimbleness and a growth-oriented mindset.
Fostering Innovation and Creativity
Similar to flexibility, failure is a powerful catalyst for innovation and creativity.
In creative fields, the concept of embracing the “crappy first draft” is well-known. My creative writing professor used to celebrate initial drafts, however imperfect, as necessary steps in the creative process. “Be okay with the crappy first draft,” he’d say, “It’ll improve with each revision.”
Edison’s light bulb wasn’t a first attempt success. It required thousands of iterations. Innovation and creativity are processes that demand time, iteration, and, inevitably, failures along the way. Patience and Inner Work® are key to nurturing creativity even when facing setbacks.
Thomas Edison quote on failure.
Igniting Motivation from Missteps
For many, including myself, being told “you can’t” is a powerful motivator. Failure can ignite a fierce determination to prove doubters wrong.
Motivation is a significant lesson derived from failure. Often, our failures become our motivators. Consider refining presentation skills: initial attempts might be imperfect, filled with mistakes. Yet, with each presentation, progress is made. By the tenth presentation, fluency and confidence might be achieved.
Seeing incremental progress is highly motivating. Failure can fuel motivation and drive us toward our goals.
The Importance of Learning from Failure
As humans, we are inherently beings of growth and personal development. Our collective journey is about self-improvement and betterment of the world. Failure is not an obstacle but a necessary component of this journey.
Learning from failure is vital because it propels us closer to success. Studies indicate that a significant percentage of entrepreneurs experience business failure before achieving success.
Professor Sim Sitkin from Duke University coined the term “intelligent failures,” highlighting their value. Intelligent failures are beneficial because they yield knowledge, value, and insight. The crucial step is reflection. We must deliberately analyze our failures to extract lessons from them.
How Failure Drives the Learning Process
Our failures are rich with learning opportunities. But how does this transformation from failure to learning actually occur? Here are three key mechanisms:
Failure as a Reset to Square One
Failure, by definition, means we haven’t achieved success. This often necessitates a return to the starting point.
However, post-failure, we are armed with the knowledge that the previous approach was ineffective. This realization compels us to explore new strategies and methods to overcome obstacles.
Failure as a Catalyst for Examination
Reflection is indispensable in learning from failure. Without introspection, learning is stunted. After a failure, taking time to reflect is crucial.
What aspects of the failed attempt were positive? What went wrong? Where precisely did things derail? This detailed examination enables us to identify areas for correction and refine our approach for future attempts.
Failure as a Springboard for Innovation
As reiterated, repeating the same actions expecting different outcomes is futile. Innovation is central to learning and progress. Innovation is born from understanding what went wrong.
Failure facilitates learning by pinpointing missteps. This clarity allows us to implement novel ideas, strategies, and approaches. The result is enhanced innovation and creativity, both vital for our ongoing learning journey.
5 Practical Tips for Effective Learning from Failure
Failure is universal. Learning to fail gracefully accelerates the learning process. Here are five actionable tips:
5 Tips for Learning from Failure
- Don’t give up
- Adopt a growth mindset
- Practice Inner Work®
- Be courageous
- Build mental fitness
1. Persistence: Don’t Abandon Your Path
We all face moments when failure feels crushing, tempting us to quit.
This is your sign to persevere. Remain committed to your aspirations. Reframe your perspective. Break down large goals into smaller, manageable wins.
For instance, my lifelong ambition is to publish a book. Past attempts at writing novels felt overwhelming, leading to repeated abandonment of projects.
Now, I’m enrolled in creative writing classes, setting smaller, weekly word count goals. This approach maintains motivation and prevents discouragement.
“If you recently failed at something, give yourself a moment to process it, feel the emotions whatever they may be, and then work to reframe the perceived failure as an opportunity for growth. Ask yourself, ‘what did I learn from that?’ It is ultimately about cultivating a growth mindset and celebrating the effort rather than the result.”
Kealy Spring, Leadership Fellow Coach, BetterUp
2. Cultivate a Growth Mindset
To truly learn from failure, a desire to learn is essential. This is fostered by adopting a growth mindset. A growth mindset embraces challenges, persists through setbacks, and believes in the potential for learning and adaptation. It welcomes constructive feedback and criticism.
Shifting from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset isn’t easy but is crucial for progress. Start by consciously altering your perspective in daily interactions.
3. Integrate Inner Work® into Your Routine
Inner Work®, supported by scientific research, yields significant mental fitness benefits. Inner Work® is personalized. It could be a morning walk, a vacation, or brief journaling or mindfulness sessions.
Whatever form it takes for you, prioritize Inner Work®. Make it a daily habit. It enhances clarity, productivity, creativity, and innovation.
4. Embrace Courage in the Face of Setbacks
A viral video from the Winter Olympics showed a four-year-old snowboarder equipped with a microphone capturing her self-encouragement as she navigated downhill. She audibly reasoned, “I won’t fall. Maybe I will. That’s OK ‘cause we all fall.”
Failure requires courage, but trying again after failure demands even more. It’s acceptable to fail, even repeatedly. But summon the courage to rise and persist.
5. Develop Mental Fitness
Mental fitness is intrinsically linked to a growth mindset. View failure as a learning expedition. Identify skills to acquire, tools to add to your repertoire, and lessons to extract from failures.
Incorporate failures into your mental fitness plan. Enhanced mental fitness equips you to handle life’s fluctuations. BetterUp offers resources to support your mental fitness journey.
10 Inspiring Quotes on Learning from Failure
Wise words on failure abound. Here are ten notable quotes to reflect upon:
- “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” ― Winston S. Churchill
- “Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.” ― Salvador Dali
- “You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” ― Maya Angelou
- “It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.” ― Theodore Roosevelt
- “Success, after all, loves a witness, but failure can’t exist without one.” ― Junot Díaz
- “I want to do it because I want to do it. Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail, their failure must be but a challenge to others.” ― Amelia Earhart
- “Children have a lesson adults should learn, to not be ashamed of failing, but to get up and try again. Most of us adults are so afraid, so cautious, so ‘safe,’ and therefore so shrinking and rigid and afraid that it is why so many humans fail. Most middle-aged adults have resigned themselves to failure.” ― Malcolm X, The Autobiography of Malcolm X
- “You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.” ― Johnny Cash
- “It’s only when you risk failure that you discover things. When you play it safe, you’re not expressing the utmost of your human experience.” ― Lupita Nyong’o
- “It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.” ― Bill Gates
What common themes do you notice in these quotes? What perspective shifts can you adopt?
Embrace Failure as a Stepping Stone to Success
Failure is a universal human experience. Fear of failure is often the real barrier to success. While failure is often perceived negatively, it’s actually the most effective teacher. From business magnates to celebrated artists, success is frequently built upon a foundation of failures.
Adopting the right mindset and allowing yourself to fail opens the door to invaluable learning. Our past failures are integral to the learning process. Often, the most significant failures yield the most profound lessons.
How can you rethink your relationship with failure? Can you confront your fear of failure directly? Reaching our full potential inherently involves encountering failure. Instead of succumbing to despair, choose courage. Instead of self-pity, choose resilience. Instead of defeat, choose persistence.
Learning to navigate failure is a crucial step in building mental fitness. With robust mental fitness, you can unlock your potential and achieve your aspirations. BetterUp is here to support you on this journey. Start with a coach today.
