Have you ever said, “Do as I say, not as I do?” It turns out, children are wired to do both – and often, they learn more from what they see than what they hear. This powerful way children acquire new behaviors is known as observational learning, or sometimes called modeling behavior. It’s the process where children learn simply by watching and listening to others around them. These “models” aren’t just parents or close family; children learn from a wide range of sources, including peers, teachers, characters on television, and even strangers in public places.
You’ve likely seen observational learning in action. Think about a child who suddenly starts using phrases they picked up from a favorite TV show, or a new game they learned from friends at school. Even without direct instruction or personal experience, children absorb and mimic behaviors they observe. This ability to learn by watching is a fundamental aspect of child development, shaping everything from social skills to personal habits.
It’s important to understand that simply witnessing a behavior doesn’t automatically mean a child will copy it. Just because a child sees someone act aggressively doesn’t guarantee they will become aggressive themselves. However, the observation itself is a learning experience. Children are constantly gathering information about different behaviors, their potential outcomes, and social norms. They’re learning about the behavioral choices available and the consequences that might follow those choices.
The likelihood of a child imitating a behavior they’ve observed is strongly influenced by reinforcement. Behaviors that are rewarded or positively reinforced are much more likely to be copied. For instance, if a child sees another child being praised for sharing, they are more likely to learn and exhibit sharing behavior. Conversely, if a child observes someone being reprimanded for a certain action, they might be less inclined to repeat that action. Even subtle cues like laughter or attention can act as unintended positive reinforcement, making a behavior seem desirable to a watching child.
Through observational learning, children can unfortunately pick up negative behaviors, including aggression. Exposure to aggressive behavior, whether in real life or through media like television and video games, can lead children to learn and imitate these behaviors. If aggressive actions are portrayed as successful or are even rewarded (for example, a TV character getting what they want by being aggressive), children may see aggression as an effective way to solve problems or interact with others.
On a more positive note, prosocial behaviors are also readily learned through observation. When children see examples of cooperation, sharing, kindness, and helpfulness, they are learning valuable social skills. Observing acts of altruism and empathy can inspire children to adopt these positive behaviors themselves. This highlights the powerful role of positive role models in a child’s life.
Michigan State University Extension emphasizes the importance of creating a positive environment to foster healthy observational learning. Here are some key considerations:
Creating a Positive Learning Environment
Be Mindful of Surroundings: Actively cultivate environments where children are exposed to constructive role models and situations that reinforce positive behaviors. Minimize exposure to environments, individuals, or activities that model negative or concerning behaviors. Seek out positive and supportive settings for your child’s development.
Highlight the Positive: Focus on reinforcing positive behaviors you want to encourage. Point out instances of kindness, helpfulness, and good conduct in your child and others. Provide praise and positive feedback to reinforce these actions. “Catch them being good” to encourage repetition of positive behaviors.
Limit Negative Influences: Be aware of the impact of media and negative interactions. Violent or aggressive content in television, movies, and games can be detrimental. Similarly, negative interactions with peers or adults can also be harmful modeling experiences. When possible, limit or eliminate exposure to these negative influences and actively promote positive alternatives. Consider whether you would be proud if your child mirrored the behaviors they are observing.
Use Teachable Moments: When negative behavior is witnessed, either unavoidably or in media, use it as an opportunity for discussion. Talk to your child about what constitutes acceptable and helpful behavior and why negative behaviors are inappropriate. Explain the impact of different actions and encourage critical thinking about observed behaviors. Children learn not just from watching, but also from listening and discussing.
Model the Behavior You Want to See: Remember that you are your child’s primary and most influential teacher. They are constantly observing and learning from you, whether you are consciously teaching or not. Lead by example. Demonstrate kindness, empathy, compassion, and respect in your daily interactions. Model the positive behaviors you wish to instill in your child, and strive to be a positive role model in all aspects of your life. Your actions speak volumes.
By understanding the principles of observational learning and actively shaping a child’s environment, parents and educators can play a crucial role in guiding children towards positive and constructive behavior development.
For further reading on child development and positive parenting strategies, visit the MSU Extension website.
