Rebuilding trust after betrayal or hurt can feel impossible. You might spend years intellectually understanding the need to trust but still struggle to feel it. This article explores the profound impact of trauma on trust and offers a practical, body-oriented approach to learning how to trust again.
Why Trauma Shatters Trust in Yourself and Others
Trauma, particularly in close relationships, fundamentally disrupts our ability to trust. When the people responsible for our safety and well-being violate that trust, it can leave deep, lasting wounds. Whether it’s childhood trauma, betrayal in a romantic relationship, or any other deeply hurtful experience, the impact often extends beyond trusting others—it erodes trust in ourselves. We start questioning our judgment, our decisions, and even our worthiness of love. This self-doubt makes it incredibly difficult to trust anyone else.
For example, if you grew up with overly critical or controlling parents, you might internalize the message that you’re not capable or trustworthy. Similarly, a painful romantic breakup can lead to questioning your ability to choose a healthy partner, making it hard to open yourself up to new relationships.
The Crucial Link Between Self-Trust and Trusting Others
You might believe the problem lies solely in trusting others. However, the inability to trust others often stems from a lack of self-trust. If you don’t trust your own judgment and instincts, how can you confidently place your trust in someone else? This realization is often a pivotal moment in the healing process.
This was the case for Sarah, who sought therapy two years after leaving an abusive marriage. While initially focused on her distrust of others, she discovered through body-oriented therapy that she deeply lacked self-trust. This breakthrough allowed her to address the root cause of her struggles and eventually rebuild trust in herself and others, opening the door for a healthy new relationship.
A Somatic Approach: Learning to Trust Again Through the Body
Traditional talk therapy, while valuable, may not fully address the physical impact of trauma. Trauma is often stored in the body, affecting our nervous system and shaping our responses to the world. A somatic approach, focusing on body awareness and movement, can help access and release this trapped trauma.
One simple yet powerful exercise involves tuning into your body’s sensations and allowing them to guide your movements. This practice helps rebuild a sense of safety and connection within yourself, fostering self-trust. You can find a guided somatic exercise in this video: link to video – starting at 4:18. This gentle movement allows you to connect with your inner wisdom and begin to rebuild trust from the inside out.
Rewiring Your Nervous System for Healthy Relationships
Past trauma can wire our nervous systems for chaos and drama, making calm, stable relationships feel boring. This doesn’t mean you prefer unhealthy relationships, but rather that your body has become accustomed to a heightened state of arousal. To truly enjoy healthy connections, you need to rewire your nervous system.
Somatic practices help regulate the nervous system, allowing you to experience the deep comfort and joy of a secure relationship without needing the drama. This rewiring process enables you to feel loved and safe in a way that is both exciting and fulfilling.
Finding Lasting Healing Through Somatic Trauma Therapy
Cognitive therapies and even some alternative approaches may not fully access trauma stored in the body. Somatic trauma healing offers a deeper path to lasting transformation by addressing the physical and emotional effects of trauma. Intensive retreats can provide accelerated healing, allowing participants to experience profound shifts in a shorter timeframe.
If you’re ready to embark on a journey of healing and learn how to trust again, explore the potential of somatic trauma therapy and consider whether a retreat setting might be right for you: link to retreats. You deserve to experience the peace and joy of trusting yourself and others fully.
