My decision to donate a kidney to someone I didn’t know on Friday, March 2, 2018, was the culmination of many months of reflection and soul-searching. Countless sleepless nights were spent pondering the implications, but ultimately, the answer became clear. I realized a fundamental truth: I was in a position to help in a profound way. My health was robust, allowing me to live a full life with just one kidney, while simultaneously offering someone else the chance at a healthier existence, perhaps even saving multiple lives through the donation chain. Being part of such a healing process was profoundly humbling, an experience truly beyond words. I felt an undeniable sense of purpose, a conviction that this was something I was meant to do.
This conviction was deeply rooted in my personal history. My father endured years of dialysis due to kidney failure, a consequence of neglecting his high blood pressure. Witnessing his suffering was incredibly painful. Despite my pleas, he initially refused to consider me as a donor. Eventually, he relented, but a kidney from a deceased donor became available before I could be tested. Sadly, complications from other health issues led to his return to dialysis, and he passed away in 2003.
Years later, in 2017, I learned that my niece’s husband, Kevin, needed a second kidney transplant due to IgA Nephropathy and End Stage Renal Failure. His first transplant had been generously given by a college friend. In memory of my father, I felt compelled to step forward and offer to be Kevin’s donor.
We scheduled a direct living kidney transplant for December 7, 2017. However, a complication arose during the final tissue matching process, and we were informed that direct donation was no longer viable. This news was devastating for both of us, a significant emotional setback.
Undeterred, in January 2018, I agreed to participate in a paired kidney exchange program, a system where multiple donor-recipient pairs are matched to facilitate transplants. After several surgery dates were scheduled, cancelled, and then rescheduled, with all the accompanying emotional rollercoasters, our day finally arrived. In the end, ten individuals were involved in this exchange, giving and receiving the gift of life.
The surgeries took place over two days, Wednesday, February 28, and Friday, March 2, 2018. I am overjoyed to report that Kevin and all the other recipients are doing well, as far as I know. My heart swells with happiness for Kevin, his wife Kendra, and their son Caden, the little boy I often babysit. (They have since welcomed another son, Cameron, into their family.) We learned that Kevin’s new kidney arrived from San Francisco, while my recipient was located nearby in Philadelphia. Interestingly, my recipient’s wife also participated in the exchange, donating her kidney. My recovery at home was smooth, with my husband providing exceptional care. Any discomfort or pain I experienced was insignificant compared to the immense reward of knowing I had made such a difference.
Kevin’s dedication to raising awareness and funds for kidney disease was recognized by the National Kidney Foundation, who honored him with their Hero Award Recipient for his volunteer work and chairmanship of the NJ Kidney Walk. We are incredibly proud of him and his commitment.
If there is one message I hope to convey, it is this: please, if you are able, consider becoming a kidney donor, whether for a loved one, a friend, or even a stranger. The opportunity to give such a profound gift is a truly remarkable one.
